So the Detroit Lions lost to the Green Bay Packers again. That's 22, 32, 102, whatever, straight losses in Green Bay for the Lions. So what's the latest excuse being thrown around as to why the Detroit Lions lost? Calvin Johnson was out. Injuries happen all the time in the NFL, and as coaches like to say, it's next man up. So why is it, with Calvin Johnson and Nate Burleson out, the Lions pass attack looked even worse then the pass attack led by Boomer Esiason/Bubby Brister and wide receivers Ryan Yarborough, Wayne Cherbet, Charles Wilson, Jeff Snyder, Curtis Ceaser, and tight ends Kyle Brady, Johnny Mitchell, and Fred Baxter. I had to dig a little deep to find a suitable comparison to really clarify the lack of talent the Lions have at wide receiver.
This was a game that could easily have been won by the Lions IF ANY receiver position stepped up. No one did. Sure, Brandon Pettigrew made a nice play or two, then reverted back to form of dropping passes at key moments. Then you got Tony Scheffler, in a contract year, basically stating he wants to retire at the end of the season (the ball hits you in the hands, then your chest, and you still drop it, can it be placed better then that?) Then you got Ryan 'I Gots Two Bad Knees' Broyles. Most Lions fans will tell you 'he looked SO GOOD last year until he blew out his knee!' Two games into the return of Ryan Broyles and...nothing. if ANYONE was going to step up in the absence of Nate Burleson and Calvin Johnson it'd be him right? The guy the Lions spent a second round pick on, even though he was rehabbing a blown knee. Broyles looks like he's still mentally bothered by the fact that he has two bad knees. Physically he looks fine. So why is he not producing? All the other receivers kind of blend in together at this point. Kris Durham, Patrick Edwards, Kevin 'Giant Killer' Ogletree, it doesn't matter, they all looked the same. Ogletree is the Giant Killer because in his contract year, Ogletree had 32 catches, 436 yards, and 4 touchdowns. That sounds good right? Until you see in game one against the Giants, he had 8 catches for 114 yards and 2 touchdowns (Cowboys won that game.) Ogletree got 1/4 of his receiving yards, 1/2 of his touchdowns, and 1/4 of his receptions in one game.
So what does all this have to do with Hakeem Nicks? Well, that picture should be pretty clear by now. Reggie Bush was brought in to spark the offense, you can't focus in on Calvin Johnson when Reggie Bush can burn you. With Calvin Johnson out, Reggie Bush is just another guy, he's got talent and skill, but he can't do it by himself, and he never has. Calvin Johnson and Reggie Bush are like peanut butter and jelly. Sure you can have one without the other, but it just doesn't taste right, and you're left feeling unfulfilled. There were rumors, unsubstantiated rumors, but still rumors were swirling, that the Lions were interested in trading for Hakeem Nicks. Personally, when I heard the report, I didn't see why the Giants would trade him away, even if they were 0-3 at the time. Well, now the Giants are 0-5, and most likely 0-6 after they play the Bears on Thursday night. Then maybe they go 0-8 when they play Minnesota, then Philly again, before having a shot at their first win against the Raiders. That hole they started digging in week one, isn't getting filled in any time soon. Hakeem Nicks is most likely gone in the offseason because the Giants most likely won't give him the money he wants, especially when they need that money to fix the offensive line, secondary, and linebacking corps. With Hakeem Nicks on the Lions, if Calvin Johnson can't go, there's a bonafide stud still on the field for the offense to work with Reggie Bush and a bunch of under achievers.With Calvin Johnson healthy and ready to go, that offense could not be stopped. You can't watch Calvin Johnson AND Hakeem Nicks AND still contain Reggie Bush. It'd be like when a team like Alabama plays a team like North West Central New Mexico State. There's just too much talent on the field, and you don't have enough talent to match. It would also greatly improve the defense. EVERY defense plays better with a lead, and when they force teams into being one dimensional. The Lions defense is no exception to that rule. The Lions defense also isn't good enough to keep all the holes patched up, eventually it'll be exploited (like today) and they are going to give up points.
I've heard two different arguments as to why the Lions shouldn't trade for a guy like Hakeem Nicks. The first being 'the Lions shouldn't need two amazing wide receivers to run the offense.' That's correct. However, the Lions haven't had a good #2 receiver (whether it's a tight end or another wide out,) since Brett Perriman played opposite of Herman Moore. if you look around the league, there are plenty of one-two punches in the receiving game. Last year's Super Bowl winners had Anquan Boldin and Torrey Smith. The Falcons have Roddy White and Julio Jones (or replace either one with Tony Gonzalez.) When Peyton Manning won the Super Bowl, he had Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison. The Greatest Show On Turf had Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt. Green Bay right now has Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb (or switch James Jones in for one of them.) Dallas has Dez Bryant and Jason Witten. The Lions need a one-two punch and all they got right now is a one and nothing else to punch with. The second argument is that Matt Stafford needs to start making his receivers better. You can say the great quarterbacks make the guys around them better. It might appear to be true, but you need to be able to find receivers with skill sets to 'make it' in the NFL. The Lions have had/currently have some of the supposed greatest collegiate wide receivers ever. Yet, Tom Brady throwing to Kenbrel Thompkins is helping the Patriots win games. Why? It's almost completely the skill set of the players involved. Kenbrel Thompkins came from a small school not known for throwing the ball. He is a solid route runner, and is showing to have good hands, now that he's finally getting in sync with Tom Brady. For all intents and purposes, Thompkins shouldn't be on an NFL roster because he played receiver at a small college that liked to run the ball. His skill set, however, transitions quite nicely into what the Patriots do on offense. So where the Lions are taking, quite literally, the flashy wide receiver with the big numbers that they think could transition into their scheme, the Patriots are taking guys that fit their scheme, and working to make them better in the other areas. At this point, it's less to do with the quarterback not making guys better, and more to do with the receivers not being able to transition to the NFL. Considering how many quarterbacks the Lions have gone through, someone at wide receiver, whether it's Scotty Anderson, Roy Williams, Tim Toone, or Kez McCorvey, would have stepped up and been a legit receiver in the NFL, but for one reason or another none of these guys have made the transition. It might be time to stop looking to the draft for a good second receiver, and more towards trades and free agency.
No one is saying the Lions are a Super Bowl contender RIGHT NOW. In fact, it's the whole other end of the spectrum 'win or be fired.' So if you're running this team like it might be your last, wouldn't it be in your best interest to give up some pieces to make a legit run at the playoffs? The defense isn't good enough to hold the Lions in games until the offense can get moving. The offense is one injury away from being a top five draft pick team. Now might be the time to look East, call up Jerry Reese and make some offers for Hakeem Nicks. If Hakeem Nicks landed on the Lions, the offense would be good enough RIGHT NOW to rival what Peyton Manning is doing in Denver, and when you look at the Lions schedule, an offense that powerful could propel them into the playoffs, giving the current regime a little longer to work the team over to becoming a perennial playoff contender at worst.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Things I Think About At Work : Everything On TV And In The Movies Can Be Linked Back To Saved By The Bell
Following up my last blog post, when I was left to my own devices I still had Saved By The Bell on the brain. Coming up with the whole Saved By The Bell could easily be Scream thing was just the start of the gears spinning. At first, I was just going to mention how the secondary characters on Saved By The Bell were way more interesting after the show then during the show. But then my mind went into overdrive and I created a theory. My senior thesis when I finish college is going to be based on this blog. You can trace every movie and TV show back to Saved By The Bell. This will be very similar to Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, but I can pretty much fit everything from pop culture into this theory. I'm not going to put it all into this blog, just a taste of it.
First, I will start off with a few things you didn't know. Professor Jeremiah Lackey, the teacher in college Kelly was dating to get better grades, was so heart broken over losing Kelly to her former high school flame/current husband, he moved to the South and became a preacher and an exorcist. Sadly, he fell in battle against the demon Abalam (The Last Exorcism.)
Staying with the College Years, Dean Susan McMann spent her off hours tormenting her two sons Alan Harper and Charlie Harper. Let's face it. They deserve to be tormented. Alan Harper needed to stay on the straight and narrow after being arrested by Superman after high school. Charlie Harper also needed to stay straight after taking a deal that landed Gordon Gecko in jail, and leading police on a chase across California after kidnapping Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
But if you want to totally get your mind blown, after Alex Tabor graduated from college with Slater, Zach, Screech, and Kelly, she went on to become a stripper (since her major in college was drama, and a starving actor has to work.) While being a stripper, she met the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air's girlfriend, Jasmine Dubrow. Unfortunately for Alex, she was killed when she was atop one of the buildings destroyed by the aliens during the first attack on Earth. The aliens however were repelled by The Fly, before he turned into the Fly, but after he survived Jurassic Park, and also a former college football coach who's star quarterback would later go on to create the Quantum Leap Project, and would later have a descendant be one of the first captains of the USS Enterprise.
How does any of this tie into Star Wars though? What a great random question! You see, before the Fresh Prince defeated the aliens, he was a cop in Miami. While trying to protect a witness, he killed Noah. Noah had a twin brother, Dante, who was a guard at a bank that was robbed by The Punisher. Before Frank Castle became the Punisher, he used to wrangle sharks where he met Mace Windu's however many great-grandfather, Russel Franklin, who was eaten by a shark.
Did you just connect AC Slater's girlfriend to Mace Windu? You bet your ass I did! But one more, to really solidify my theory.
During a couple of episodes, the Bayside High Gang met an actor named James. James is a direct descendant of Blinkin, Robin Hood's faithful servant. Robin Hood is the descendant of Wesley and Buttercup, and much further down the line of descendants is Dr. Gordon who was Jigsaw's right hand man all along, not Amanda Young who was so clearly out of her mind after surviving The Blob, she resorted to torture and murder. That's right. I just went from a random waiter at The Max, to one of the heroes who stopped the Blob.
Much like Pigman in PCU, who was trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory (no matter what time of day it is, you can find a Gene Hackman or Michael Caine movie on TV,) I will cap off my college career by proving without a shadow of a doubt that Saved By The Bell is the epicenter to which every movie and TV show can be linked back to. There are so many cases of Saved By The Bell linking pop culture together, I can't put them into one simple blog! My thesis would be longer then great works of literature like The Stand by Stephen King, or War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. I have given you a taste though, consider yourself lucky.
First, I will start off with a few things you didn't know. Professor Jeremiah Lackey, the teacher in college Kelly was dating to get better grades, was so heart broken over losing Kelly to her former high school flame/current husband, he moved to the South and became a preacher and an exorcist. Sadly, he fell in battle against the demon Abalam (The Last Exorcism.)
Staying with the College Years, Dean Susan McMann spent her off hours tormenting her two sons Alan Harper and Charlie Harper. Let's face it. They deserve to be tormented. Alan Harper needed to stay on the straight and narrow after being arrested by Superman after high school. Charlie Harper also needed to stay straight after taking a deal that landed Gordon Gecko in jail, and leading police on a chase across California after kidnapping Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
But if you want to totally get your mind blown, after Alex Tabor graduated from college with Slater, Zach, Screech, and Kelly, she went on to become a stripper (since her major in college was drama, and a starving actor has to work.) While being a stripper, she met the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air's girlfriend, Jasmine Dubrow. Unfortunately for Alex, she was killed when she was atop one of the buildings destroyed by the aliens during the first attack on Earth. The aliens however were repelled by The Fly, before he turned into the Fly, but after he survived Jurassic Park, and also a former college football coach who's star quarterback would later go on to create the Quantum Leap Project, and would later have a descendant be one of the first captains of the USS Enterprise.
How does any of this tie into Star Wars though? What a great random question! You see, before the Fresh Prince defeated the aliens, he was a cop in Miami. While trying to protect a witness, he killed Noah. Noah had a twin brother, Dante, who was a guard at a bank that was robbed by The Punisher. Before Frank Castle became the Punisher, he used to wrangle sharks where he met Mace Windu's however many great-grandfather, Russel Franklin, who was eaten by a shark.
Did you just connect AC Slater's girlfriend to Mace Windu? You bet your ass I did! But one more, to really solidify my theory.
During a couple of episodes, the Bayside High Gang met an actor named James. James is a direct descendant of Blinkin, Robin Hood's faithful servant. Robin Hood is the descendant of Wesley and Buttercup, and much further down the line of descendants is Dr. Gordon who was Jigsaw's right hand man all along, not Amanda Young who was so clearly out of her mind after surviving The Blob, she resorted to torture and murder. That's right. I just went from a random waiter at The Max, to one of the heroes who stopped the Blob.
Much like Pigman in PCU, who was trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory (no matter what time of day it is, you can find a Gene Hackman or Michael Caine movie on TV,) I will cap off my college career by proving without a shadow of a doubt that Saved By The Bell is the epicenter to which every movie and TV show can be linked back to. There are so many cases of Saved By The Bell linking pop culture together, I can't put them into one simple blog! My thesis would be longer then great works of literature like The Stand by Stephen King, or War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. I have given you a taste though, consider yourself lucky.
Things I Talk About At Work : Scream By The Bell
So a friend of mine at work today came in wearing a Kelly Kapowski t shirt. He and I are of the same age-ish. I'm 32. I think he is too, or at least close enough to it where being in the same area together was a bad idea. At first it started off with a riveting rendition of 'I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so.....scared!' Then it moved onto a spirited debate between who do you pick, Kelly Kapowski and Stacey Carosi. Which then led me to the topic of this blog. Saved By The Bell debuted on TV in 1989. The movie Scream came out in 1996, a mere two years after Saved By The Bell had ended. If things were thought through slightly better, Scream could have been the big screen series finale for Saved By The Bell.
At first glance, you would think I am totally out of my mind. Ask my co-workers and they would most likely agree. But hear me out. The characters we followed in Saved By The Bell would flawlessly transition right over into the Scream movie. Jessie can be the first victim in the movie. You don't know anything about the character, just that her character and her boyfriend gets killed. So Slater dies in the beginning too? No! That douche bag emo-hippy Graham, that Jessie broke up with Slater for on Senior Skip Day is the one that gets killed.
Kelly would be the heroine of the movie. From what we learned in the TV show, he dad was laid off from working at the weapons manufacturing plant, whatever job he took after that is unknown. It is entirely plausible that whatever job he has, keeps him away from home. In the movie, her mother was murdered a year ago, which is again entirely plausible to pull off because you never SEE Kelly's mom in the TV show. Lisa becomes the best friend because Jessie is dead. All ready this is much better then the first Scream movie, as there was no black person in the movie originally. IMPROVEMENT! Lisa is the friend who gets killed by trying to fit through the doggy door in the garage door.
So now with the help of a little retcon, Stacy Carosi shows up as the reporter covering the story. Stacy was in college for an undetermined amount of time when the gang met her at the beach club. Seeing as she was older, and they were still in high school, it is entirely plausible that she would be a hot up and coming reporter looking for her big break. The retcon comes in changing her major in college from business to journalism. Going back to our friend the retcon, Jeff is the deputy sheriff investigating the case. Like with Stacy, Jeff was in college for an undetermined amount of time before he met the gang. Without really knowing what his major was in college, it is entirely plausible that he sought a degree in law, and wanted to go into law enforcement.
Screech obviously is the nerdy guy from Scream who spouts off the horror movie rules. Besides bugs, Lisa, and supposedly building Kevin the robot, you don't know anything about Screech's interests at all. Considering at the time, the show and the movie was after the hay day of Dungeons and Dragons, and before any big MMO's like World of Warcraft, any big player vs player games at home, like Call of Duty, and there is never, not even during the episodes at the mall, a hint of an arcade, you have to believe his interests would fall to the other nerdy thing to be into, which is horror movies. You know he's smart, he's socially awkward, but somehow he hangs out with the cool kids. Screech is almost an exact clone of Randy from Scream, so fits that part nicely.
Mr. Belding is still the principal that is just dumb enough to be outsmarted by the killer to be killed and then hung from the goalpost.
That leaves us with the big reveal that has yet to be mentioned.
...
Zach and Slater are the killers. How can that be? In the show, you never see Zach's mom and Zach's dad together. Why? They are obviously divorced. Zach's dad works for some computer company and is always leaving town on business, which is why Zach lives with his mom. Zach's parent's divorced after his mom found out about the affair he was having with Kelly's mom. Enraged that his family life is ruined, Zach convinces Slater to help him kill Kelly's mom. In the original movie, you never quite get the real motivation from the other guy as to why he was helping kill people. This is easily fixed by stating that Slater's dad was way over bearing, and Slater just snapped from the pressure. It was Slater that killed Jessie and Graham, because she dumped him for Graham.
This stuff literally wrote itself! Instead of doing the follow up show of The College Years, they should have just ended the series with a movie. That movie being Scream. It would have been given all the critical acclaim Scream was given in terms of being clever and interesting for a horror movie, and it wraps up the Saved By The Bell story beautifully. You wouldn't get that crazy wedding in Las Vegas movie, you wouldn't get the atrocious Saved By The Bell : The New Class, or the College Years. Everyone is dead except Jeff, Stacy, Kelly, and Screech. Isn't that a much better ending for a beloved TV show then the ending we got when Seinfeld, Lost, and The Sopranos ended? Obviously it is!
At first glance, you would think I am totally out of my mind. Ask my co-workers and they would most likely agree. But hear me out. The characters we followed in Saved By The Bell would flawlessly transition right over into the Scream movie. Jessie can be the first victim in the movie. You don't know anything about the character, just that her character and her boyfriend gets killed. So Slater dies in the beginning too? No! That douche bag emo-hippy Graham, that Jessie broke up with Slater for on Senior Skip Day is the one that gets killed.
Kelly would be the heroine of the movie. From what we learned in the TV show, he dad was laid off from working at the weapons manufacturing plant, whatever job he took after that is unknown. It is entirely plausible that whatever job he has, keeps him away from home. In the movie, her mother was murdered a year ago, which is again entirely plausible to pull off because you never SEE Kelly's mom in the TV show. Lisa becomes the best friend because Jessie is dead. All ready this is much better then the first Scream movie, as there was no black person in the movie originally. IMPROVEMENT! Lisa is the friend who gets killed by trying to fit through the doggy door in the garage door.
So now with the help of a little retcon, Stacy Carosi shows up as the reporter covering the story. Stacy was in college for an undetermined amount of time when the gang met her at the beach club. Seeing as she was older, and they were still in high school, it is entirely plausible that she would be a hot up and coming reporter looking for her big break. The retcon comes in changing her major in college from business to journalism. Going back to our friend the retcon, Jeff is the deputy sheriff investigating the case. Like with Stacy, Jeff was in college for an undetermined amount of time before he met the gang. Without really knowing what his major was in college, it is entirely plausible that he sought a degree in law, and wanted to go into law enforcement.
Screech obviously is the nerdy guy from Scream who spouts off the horror movie rules. Besides bugs, Lisa, and supposedly building Kevin the robot, you don't know anything about Screech's interests at all. Considering at the time, the show and the movie was after the hay day of Dungeons and Dragons, and before any big MMO's like World of Warcraft, any big player vs player games at home, like Call of Duty, and there is never, not even during the episodes at the mall, a hint of an arcade, you have to believe his interests would fall to the other nerdy thing to be into, which is horror movies. You know he's smart, he's socially awkward, but somehow he hangs out with the cool kids. Screech is almost an exact clone of Randy from Scream, so fits that part nicely.
Mr. Belding is still the principal that is just dumb enough to be outsmarted by the killer to be killed and then hung from the goalpost.
That leaves us with the big reveal that has yet to be mentioned.
...
Zach and Slater are the killers. How can that be? In the show, you never see Zach's mom and Zach's dad together. Why? They are obviously divorced. Zach's dad works for some computer company and is always leaving town on business, which is why Zach lives with his mom. Zach's parent's divorced after his mom found out about the affair he was having with Kelly's mom. Enraged that his family life is ruined, Zach convinces Slater to help him kill Kelly's mom. In the original movie, you never quite get the real motivation from the other guy as to why he was helping kill people. This is easily fixed by stating that Slater's dad was way over bearing, and Slater just snapped from the pressure. It was Slater that killed Jessie and Graham, because she dumped him for Graham.
This stuff literally wrote itself! Instead of doing the follow up show of The College Years, they should have just ended the series with a movie. That movie being Scream. It would have been given all the critical acclaim Scream was given in terms of being clever and interesting for a horror movie, and it wraps up the Saved By The Bell story beautifully. You wouldn't get that crazy wedding in Las Vegas movie, you wouldn't get the atrocious Saved By The Bell : The New Class, or the College Years. Everyone is dead except Jeff, Stacy, Kelly, and Screech. Isn't that a much better ending for a beloved TV show then the ending we got when Seinfeld, Lost, and The Sopranos ended? Obviously it is!
Friday, December 14, 2012
"It's real easy to forget what's important, so don't."
***Disclaimer : Some vulgar language.***
The title is a quote from one of my favorite movies, Mr. Mom.
My most sincere apologies go out to the families of the children and adults who were slaughtered needlessly today in Connecticut. I was on lunch break in the cafeteria when I heard the news. it was a good day so far, I sat at the upper level of the cafeteria because I wanted to watch Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, instead of Sports Center. I wish I didn't sit up there. The last three and a half hours were spent trying to work, but my thoughts kept going back to the report I heard. At the time, there was just some scant updates, twenty people shot, some were kids. I spent the rest of my day avoiding updates of any kind about the topic. I was hoping that the shooter was as bad of a shot as he was a major asshole. I was hoping that these victims were just wounded, that there were no deaths. Who shoots up an elementary school? I tried my hardest not to be anything more then just choked up. I did not want to shed a tear at work. When I got my daughter from daycare, who is five years old and just started kindergarten this year, a tear welled up a little, but held I composure. I all ready had the intent of making a blog about some of the things I thought about at work, but I had to do one last thing before I started writing. I had to see an update. Twenty-seven dead, including the shooter, and twenty were children. I couldn't hold back the tears any more. They started flowing like a river. This whole event breaks my heart. It's only eleven days until Christmas. These families should be going out and finishing Christmas shopping together. The parents should be excited about seeing their kids reactions on Christmas day when their kids get what they have been begging for over the last few weeks. The kids should be excited for Christmas. They should be baking cookies for Santa. Instead, these parents have to do something every parent fears, they have to make plans to say their final goodbyes to their kids. Instead of watching whatever Christmas movie is their tradition to watch with each other, they have to sit and wonder why their kids were ripped away from them. I just cannot fathom the feeling of emptiness and sadness the families of the victims must be feeling right now, especially at this time of year.
I saw a post shared on Facebook. It angered me. I was seething with rage. The shared post said to allow God into your life, when you don't the Enemy has his way and things like this happen. Really? Is that how that works? Because I'm pretty sure any benevolent god-like entity would have stepped in and prevented this tragedy. But apparently that's not how it works. You see, if you DON'T believe in God, he'll allow innocent children to be killed. This is why I don't believe in God. This is free will. This was the mind of a madman who decided the world needed to know his pain, and the best way to get everyone to understand his pain was to kill children. God has no role in this event, or any other event. There is biblical rhetoric, no biblical quote, there is nothing to find in a book that was wrote by ancient men that will console the victim's families. God and the afterlife is a fable to allow people to think there is something after death, that you will see your dearly departed loved ones again, when you will not. No where in the Bible does it say 'God only gives us what we can handle.' can you imagine telling that load of crap to a parent of a kid who was shot, lying on the floor dying, crying, calling out for mom or dad, who are never going to show up? Yeah, God gives us what we can handle, and at that point in time he thought that kid could handle a slow death from a gun shot.
What it boils down to is that we have FAILED as a society. The End of Days is not coming because these tragedies are happening more frequently. There is a reason why things like this happened so rarely twenty, thirty, forty years ago. As a society, we are all about the quick fix. Instead of working to lose weight, we want a magic pill. America is obese because so many Americans eat out more often then they have an actual sit down dinner with the family. Time is measured now in terms of how much money can you make with your time. It used to be more valuable to spend your time with your family, with the way society has progressed, if you want to live comfortably, you are spending the majority of your time AWAY from your family. As a society we are more involved in what's going on with whoever on Facebook, then we are about asking our kids how their day at school was. There is a reason bullying in schools is out of control now. We, as a people, prefer to be isolated into our own little bubbles, that anything outside of our bubbles does not matter. People used to say it takes a village to raise a child. Now, people are way too afraid to even speak to their neighbors. I don't even know the last names of my landlord, and the neighbor on either side of me. Our society is broken and needs to be fixed. We should be less concerned with how much money we make, and more concerned with making our children's dance recital, football game, choir concert, whatever. Instead we have millionaires and billionaires in congress arguing that the middle class should pay more taxes, not the upper class. I saw Mr. Mom the other day, I used to watch it as a kid. At one point in the movie Michael Keaton's character tells his wife on Halloween "I was going to suggest that you go as a ghost, because even when you're here, you're not really HERE." That's the perfect example of how most parents are these days, and then we wonder why people do the things they do now.
The tragedy in Connecticut should be used as motivation to change ourselves as a society. Yes there are precautions the government can take to help ensure safety, but there is so much more that can be done to overhaul how we act as a people in society, to also ensure this doesn't happen again from an emotional and erratic state. We need to drop our personal barriers and start acting like a community again.
The title is a quote from one of my favorite movies, Mr. Mom.
My most sincere apologies go out to the families of the children and adults who were slaughtered needlessly today in Connecticut. I was on lunch break in the cafeteria when I heard the news. it was a good day so far, I sat at the upper level of the cafeteria because I wanted to watch Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, instead of Sports Center. I wish I didn't sit up there. The last three and a half hours were spent trying to work, but my thoughts kept going back to the report I heard. At the time, there was just some scant updates, twenty people shot, some were kids. I spent the rest of my day avoiding updates of any kind about the topic. I was hoping that the shooter was as bad of a shot as he was a major asshole. I was hoping that these victims were just wounded, that there were no deaths. Who shoots up an elementary school? I tried my hardest not to be anything more then just choked up. I did not want to shed a tear at work. When I got my daughter from daycare, who is five years old and just started kindergarten this year, a tear welled up a little, but held I composure. I all ready had the intent of making a blog about some of the things I thought about at work, but I had to do one last thing before I started writing. I had to see an update. Twenty-seven dead, including the shooter, and twenty were children. I couldn't hold back the tears any more. They started flowing like a river. This whole event breaks my heart. It's only eleven days until Christmas. These families should be going out and finishing Christmas shopping together. The parents should be excited about seeing their kids reactions on Christmas day when their kids get what they have been begging for over the last few weeks. The kids should be excited for Christmas. They should be baking cookies for Santa. Instead, these parents have to do something every parent fears, they have to make plans to say their final goodbyes to their kids. Instead of watching whatever Christmas movie is their tradition to watch with each other, they have to sit and wonder why their kids were ripped away from them. I just cannot fathom the feeling of emptiness and sadness the families of the victims must be feeling right now, especially at this time of year.
I saw a post shared on Facebook. It angered me. I was seething with rage. The shared post said to allow God into your life, when you don't the Enemy has his way and things like this happen. Really? Is that how that works? Because I'm pretty sure any benevolent god-like entity would have stepped in and prevented this tragedy. But apparently that's not how it works. You see, if you DON'T believe in God, he'll allow innocent children to be killed. This is why I don't believe in God. This is free will. This was the mind of a madman who decided the world needed to know his pain, and the best way to get everyone to understand his pain was to kill children. God has no role in this event, or any other event. There is biblical rhetoric, no biblical quote, there is nothing to find in a book that was wrote by ancient men that will console the victim's families. God and the afterlife is a fable to allow people to think there is something after death, that you will see your dearly departed loved ones again, when you will not. No where in the Bible does it say 'God only gives us what we can handle.' can you imagine telling that load of crap to a parent of a kid who was shot, lying on the floor dying, crying, calling out for mom or dad, who are never going to show up? Yeah, God gives us what we can handle, and at that point in time he thought that kid could handle a slow death from a gun shot.
What it boils down to is that we have FAILED as a society. The End of Days is not coming because these tragedies are happening more frequently. There is a reason why things like this happened so rarely twenty, thirty, forty years ago. As a society, we are all about the quick fix. Instead of working to lose weight, we want a magic pill. America is obese because so many Americans eat out more often then they have an actual sit down dinner with the family. Time is measured now in terms of how much money can you make with your time. It used to be more valuable to spend your time with your family, with the way society has progressed, if you want to live comfortably, you are spending the majority of your time AWAY from your family. As a society we are more involved in what's going on with whoever on Facebook, then we are about asking our kids how their day at school was. There is a reason bullying in schools is out of control now. We, as a people, prefer to be isolated into our own little bubbles, that anything outside of our bubbles does not matter. People used to say it takes a village to raise a child. Now, people are way too afraid to even speak to their neighbors. I don't even know the last names of my landlord, and the neighbor on either side of me. Our society is broken and needs to be fixed. We should be less concerned with how much money we make, and more concerned with making our children's dance recital, football game, choir concert, whatever. Instead we have millionaires and billionaires in congress arguing that the middle class should pay more taxes, not the upper class. I saw Mr. Mom the other day, I used to watch it as a kid. At one point in the movie Michael Keaton's character tells his wife on Halloween "I was going to suggest that you go as a ghost, because even when you're here, you're not really HERE." That's the perfect example of how most parents are these days, and then we wonder why people do the things they do now.
The tragedy in Connecticut should be used as motivation to change ourselves as a society. Yes there are precautions the government can take to help ensure safety, but there is so much more that can be done to overhaul how we act as a people in society, to also ensure this doesn't happen again from an emotional and erratic state. We need to drop our personal barriers and start acting like a community again.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Rampage : The Movie (Or How To Make A Successful Video Game Movie : Part 1)
So Prince of Persia : The Sands Of Time was pretty much dead on arrival. It had a big budget behind it, some bankable stars, and it's based on a very popular video game series. So what went wrong? Plenty. For example, being accused of white washing (Jake Gyllenhaal is not Persian.) How many other video games have been turned into movies and have just been bad? Super Mario Bros. is a travesty. Street Fighter is about as cheesy as it gets. How about Wing Commander? Has anyone actually ever watched it? I can't name anyone who has. So why is it so hard to make a good video game movie? It's not. The formula is not hard to follow. We're going to use Rampage as the example as to where to start.
The first problem is taking well known plans, and having them adapt to the screen. Usually there are too many changes to the plot or story to make it work, and it loses appeal. So you take a game with a pretty loose plot that you can adapt, like Rampage. The plot of the original Rampage was that up to three players can play at once, and play as a giant ape, George, giant wolf, Ralph, or a giant lizard, Lizzie, and you have to destroy every building on the level to move on. These giant monsters were created by experimenting on humans. Simple plot, and able to be adapted. Newer incarnations has created Scumlabs as the group who experimented on the three humans. We can start here. Three college kids, two male, one female, who are hard up for money get hired as 'taste testers' for a new kind of soda. So they go to the labs on a Friday, so they can stay overnight for testing. They drink the soda Friday, by Saturday night they turn into monsters, and are placed into holding cells to be studied by the Lab. For this to work, you can't use Scumlabs as the name. So the labs can be renamed. Realizing now that they are imprisoned and going to be studied, they devise a plan to get out of the Lab. They subdue a guard, gorge themselves on the 'soda' and turn back into the monsters, but have now grown to be a few stories high. With the Lab trying to recapture them the three college kids, now as massively over sized monsters, set out to destroy the Lab, and their parent company. See, simple.
The next step comes from the writing. The story has to be told in a Ghostbusters/Evolution kind of way. It has to be an action/comedy. There's plenty of visual gags, and commentary gags to go around when the three friends are all giant monsters. Add into this a love story between Lizzie and either George or Ralph, whoever would be decided as the leader of the group, and there's plenty to work with here. The main villain is the owner of the company responsible for the creation of the three monsters. In the game, his name is Eustace DeMonic, and in order to save himself, he becomes a monster himself. This fits well into the movie. The name of the character in the game is a little outlandish, so that would have to be changed. Maybe go with a bit of humor and go with Williams Fences. The climatic battle would be between the three monsters, and the head of the company, all as giant monsters, and laying waste to a city. The looseness of the plot allows for a sequel also. In the newer Rampage games, the monsters fight aliens. So you could establish the founder of the company as an alien in disguise, experimenting on humans in order to weaken them for an alien invasion. This is easily incorporated into a movie.
The trick here is also in the casting. I think exploiting a conflict between the young and old would be useful here. For George or Ralph I would cast someone who is looking to break out, and change the stereotype that has been molded to them. Zac Effron immediately comes to mind. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be typecast as a pretty boy high school kid who can sing and dance. The other role would be good for a Mark Salling, or a Dijon Talton. For Lizzie, I would go the same route. I'd be looking for someone like a Naya Rivera, Christy Carlson Romano, Britney Song, or Adrienne Bailon. The evil owner would be a good play for a guy like Alec Baldwin, or Oliver Platt.
I would then promote this movie the same way Die Hard was first promoted. Quick clips, no monsters in the commercials. Explosions, people screaming and running, and a guy on the phone being told 'they're coming for you.' It's mysterious enough for people to be curious enough to want to check it out.
King Kong did well at the box office, and it took itself pretty seriously, same with Cloverfield. So what if we took elements of those movies and made it into an action/comedy, and the heroes are the giant monsters? This movie could easily turn into a franchise trilogy. As long as the script balances comedy and action, and makes the characters even somewhat interesting, it'd be a great summer flick. Explosions, giant monsters, and a crazy kissing scene between a giant lizard and a giant ape or wolf would be hysterical, and top the awesomeness. We're not looking to win awards with this movie. We are looking to have people enjoy themselves.
The first problem is taking well known plans, and having them adapt to the screen. Usually there are too many changes to the plot or story to make it work, and it loses appeal. So you take a game with a pretty loose plot that you can adapt, like Rampage. The plot of the original Rampage was that up to three players can play at once, and play as a giant ape, George, giant wolf, Ralph, or a giant lizard, Lizzie, and you have to destroy every building on the level to move on. These giant monsters were created by experimenting on humans. Simple plot, and able to be adapted. Newer incarnations has created Scumlabs as the group who experimented on the three humans. We can start here. Three college kids, two male, one female, who are hard up for money get hired as 'taste testers' for a new kind of soda. So they go to the labs on a Friday, so they can stay overnight for testing. They drink the soda Friday, by Saturday night they turn into monsters, and are placed into holding cells to be studied by the Lab. For this to work, you can't use Scumlabs as the name. So the labs can be renamed. Realizing now that they are imprisoned and going to be studied, they devise a plan to get out of the Lab. They subdue a guard, gorge themselves on the 'soda' and turn back into the monsters, but have now grown to be a few stories high. With the Lab trying to recapture them the three college kids, now as massively over sized monsters, set out to destroy the Lab, and their parent company. See, simple.
The next step comes from the writing. The story has to be told in a Ghostbusters/Evolution kind of way. It has to be an action/comedy. There's plenty of visual gags, and commentary gags to go around when the three friends are all giant monsters. Add into this a love story between Lizzie and either George or Ralph, whoever would be decided as the leader of the group, and there's plenty to work with here. The main villain is the owner of the company responsible for the creation of the three monsters. In the game, his name is Eustace DeMonic, and in order to save himself, he becomes a monster himself. This fits well into the movie. The name of the character in the game is a little outlandish, so that would have to be changed. Maybe go with a bit of humor and go with Williams Fences. The climatic battle would be between the three monsters, and the head of the company, all as giant monsters, and laying waste to a city. The looseness of the plot allows for a sequel also. In the newer Rampage games, the monsters fight aliens. So you could establish the founder of the company as an alien in disguise, experimenting on humans in order to weaken them for an alien invasion. This is easily incorporated into a movie.
The trick here is also in the casting. I think exploiting a conflict between the young and old would be useful here. For George or Ralph I would cast someone who is looking to break out, and change the stereotype that has been molded to them. Zac Effron immediately comes to mind. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be typecast as a pretty boy high school kid who can sing and dance. The other role would be good for a Mark Salling, or a Dijon Talton. For Lizzie, I would go the same route. I'd be looking for someone like a Naya Rivera, Christy Carlson Romano, Britney Song, or Adrienne Bailon. The evil owner would be a good play for a guy like Alec Baldwin, or Oliver Platt.
I would then promote this movie the same way Die Hard was first promoted. Quick clips, no monsters in the commercials. Explosions, people screaming and running, and a guy on the phone being told 'they're coming for you.' It's mysterious enough for people to be curious enough to want to check it out.
King Kong did well at the box office, and it took itself pretty seriously, same with Cloverfield. So what if we took elements of those movies and made it into an action/comedy, and the heroes are the giant monsters? This movie could easily turn into a franchise trilogy. As long as the script balances comedy and action, and makes the characters even somewhat interesting, it'd be a great summer flick. Explosions, giant monsters, and a crazy kissing scene between a giant lizard and a giant ape or wolf would be hysterical, and top the awesomeness. We're not looking to win awards with this movie. We are looking to have people enjoy themselves.
Repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell.
I'm trying to remember what my first reaction was when Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT)was first instituted. I really can't remember actually. Looking back now though, I have to ask, what was the goal here? Why was this put into action anyway? How is this really protecting anyone? I don't think DADT accomplished what it was supposed to, except it made certain people feel persecuted, and an outsider to society. Considering how the country was founded, and the rights people have, how exactly did this rule get passed?
Every few decades there's a group of people fighting for acceptance in something. Women wanted equal rights. African-Americans wanted segregation ended. Now, gays and lesbians have to fight just to have the same rights as everyone else. Katherine Miller left West Point because she felt she had compromised her integrity and her identity by lying and acting like a straight woman. Really? This is what we, as society have come to? How many other students have decided not to attend West Point because of DADT? How many of them could have been the next greatest George Washington, Napoleon Bonaparte, or Alexander the Great? No one knows. Why? Because of a horrible policy that prohibits the right for people to be who they are. Does it really matter if the military has gays and lesbians in the military? They wanted to serve in the military. That doesn't mean that if they get shipped out to Afghanistan or somewhere else where there is conflict they are going to run away screaming. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they don't take pride in their country, and don't want to fight to defend it. Wasn't the voting age dropped to 18 for a similar reason? The voting age was dropped to 18 with the logical thinking of if you can fight and die in a war at 18, you should be able to vote also. So we're going to ban someone from being a soldier because they're gay? Does this really matter? It shouldn't.
Being gay isn't something like an attack from a vampire, or a bite from a zombie. Just because you're in contact with them, doesn't mean your going to become one. DADT clearly enforces the thought that being gay is a disease, and ignoring it means it will go away, and no one else will be infected. That is such a barbaric thought. If that person next to me is under gunfire with me, and is willing to work with me to survive the battle, then does it matter if that person is gay? Does it mean that *GASP* I'm going to become gay because I fought with them? No. That's a completely irrational thought. So is DADT.
The reason there are still hate crimes against gays, African-Americans, Muslims, and others is because of a lack of tolerance and acceptance. Are we still teaching kids that it's OK to not like someone because they look or act differently from them? It's policies like DADT that reinforce this thought process. Who are we to judge what is right and what is wrong when it's not illegal? You can't change someone just because you don't like who they are, so why try? Accept them for who they are. No one says you have to like them, but you should accept them for who they are. Personalities clash, I get that. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean you should hate or dislike them immediately.
Is DADT really protecting anyone? What is DADT protecting? 'This man's army' is about as outdated as fighting against Communism. Everyone should have the right to be who they are, regardless of where they work. If someone is gay, and wants to serve in the military, they should not be told to stay quiet about who they are. In fact, someone coming out and saying they are gay shows a definite kind of mental toughness to do so. That's the kind of mental toughness soldiers should have, and are taught to have during basic training.
Every few decades there's a group of people fighting for acceptance in something. Women wanted equal rights. African-Americans wanted segregation ended. Now, gays and lesbians have to fight just to have the same rights as everyone else. Katherine Miller left West Point because she felt she had compromised her integrity and her identity by lying and acting like a straight woman. Really? This is what we, as society have come to? How many other students have decided not to attend West Point because of DADT? How many of them could have been the next greatest George Washington, Napoleon Bonaparte, or Alexander the Great? No one knows. Why? Because of a horrible policy that prohibits the right for people to be who they are. Does it really matter if the military has gays and lesbians in the military? They wanted to serve in the military. That doesn't mean that if they get shipped out to Afghanistan or somewhere else where there is conflict they are going to run away screaming. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they don't take pride in their country, and don't want to fight to defend it. Wasn't the voting age dropped to 18 for a similar reason? The voting age was dropped to 18 with the logical thinking of if you can fight and die in a war at 18, you should be able to vote also. So we're going to ban someone from being a soldier because they're gay? Does this really matter? It shouldn't.
Being gay isn't something like an attack from a vampire, or a bite from a zombie. Just because you're in contact with them, doesn't mean your going to become one. DADT clearly enforces the thought that being gay is a disease, and ignoring it means it will go away, and no one else will be infected. That is such a barbaric thought. If that person next to me is under gunfire with me, and is willing to work with me to survive the battle, then does it matter if that person is gay? Does it mean that *GASP* I'm going to become gay because I fought with them? No. That's a completely irrational thought. So is DADT.
The reason there are still hate crimes against gays, African-Americans, Muslims, and others is because of a lack of tolerance and acceptance. Are we still teaching kids that it's OK to not like someone because they look or act differently from them? It's policies like DADT that reinforce this thought process. Who are we to judge what is right and what is wrong when it's not illegal? You can't change someone just because you don't like who they are, so why try? Accept them for who they are. No one says you have to like them, but you should accept them for who they are. Personalities clash, I get that. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean you should hate or dislike them immediately.
Is DADT really protecting anyone? What is DADT protecting? 'This man's army' is about as outdated as fighting against Communism. Everyone should have the right to be who they are, regardless of where they work. If someone is gay, and wants to serve in the military, they should not be told to stay quiet about who they are. In fact, someone coming out and saying they are gay shows a definite kind of mental toughness to do so. That's the kind of mental toughness soldiers should have, and are taught to have during basic training.
Scott Pilgrim and Piranha 3D vs. The World! (Or How To Enjoy Every Movie You See)
So Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and Piranha 3D haven't exactly set the box office on fire. I think the major problem for this is that there is a serious lack of the suspension of disbelief. There is nothing deep about either of these movies. There's nothing Oscar worthy from either of these movies. Does that make them completely joyless and unwatchable? Absolutely not! Both of these movies can be seen as good movies, fun movies, if looked at in the right frame of mind.
If you are going to see Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and expecting a mash up of The Notebook with the love story element, mixed with Rocky IV with the fight scenes, then you are completely off base. If I told you Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World was the greatest video game movie ever made, then you are clearly in the right frame of mind to enjoy the movie. I understand that the movie is based off of a comic, but two things here. The first, the comic book itself is a complete homage and reference to video games, and other comics. The second, The Dark Knight and Iron Man has elevated the standard for comic book movies. Not only that, but when you hear 'comic book movie' you expect big powerful explosions, incredible powers, and people in flashy costumes with capes. So taking into account that this is the greatest video game movie ever, you won't be questioning how did Scott Pilgrim, or the Seven Evil Ex's get their abilities, you just take it for face value. They just can. Is that so bad to assume? It is a movie, not a documentary. Not only that, the movie is made for you to escape into and enter a new world. Some people read. Some people play video games. Some people watch TV. You are watching this movie as an escape from your everyday life, and you're looking to be entertained. This movie is very entertaining. This is one of the most enjoyable movies I have seen this year. I enjoyed it because I knew what I was walking into, a movie with a ton of video game, Anime, and comic book references, with fight scenes that look awesome, but couldn't really happen.
Piranha 3D is obviously a horror movie, and it uses 3D to try and enhance the scares. Which it does. The most cliche jump out scenes are used, but they still have that startling effect because instead of seeing the skeletal hand pop out of the water on the screen, it looks like it's two rows in front of you. The movie is a remake, and if you didn't know that, that's OK. If you are going to see this then you know it's a horror movie. Most horror movies are built upon scares, gore, and sometimes nudity. So go in with these expectations, and I bet you enjoy the movie. I don't usually get startled in horror movies, I haven't been scared when watching a horror movie in a long time. This movie made me jump a lot, even after I was like, I knew that was going to happen. That's the point of the movie though. It's supposed to be over the top. The people making this movie weren't making this to win any awards. They made this movie to entertain people. Expectations just need to be tempered.
Not every movie is going to be Avatar or Inception. To expect them to be is absurd. Movies are generally created to be entertaining. Some movies don't have a hidden agenda, and don't want to be artsy. Some just want to tell a story, and hope you enjoy the story. It comes down to, when you buy a ticket for a movie, you saw something that made you want to see it. Going in understanding what you are going to see will help you like the movies.
If you are going to see Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and expecting a mash up of The Notebook with the love story element, mixed with Rocky IV with the fight scenes, then you are completely off base. If I told you Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World was the greatest video game movie ever made, then you are clearly in the right frame of mind to enjoy the movie. I understand that the movie is based off of a comic, but two things here. The first, the comic book itself is a complete homage and reference to video games, and other comics. The second, The Dark Knight and Iron Man has elevated the standard for comic book movies. Not only that, but when you hear 'comic book movie' you expect big powerful explosions, incredible powers, and people in flashy costumes with capes. So taking into account that this is the greatest video game movie ever, you won't be questioning how did Scott Pilgrim, or the Seven Evil Ex's get their abilities, you just take it for face value. They just can. Is that so bad to assume? It is a movie, not a documentary. Not only that, the movie is made for you to escape into and enter a new world. Some people read. Some people play video games. Some people watch TV. You are watching this movie as an escape from your everyday life, and you're looking to be entertained. This movie is very entertaining. This is one of the most enjoyable movies I have seen this year. I enjoyed it because I knew what I was walking into, a movie with a ton of video game, Anime, and comic book references, with fight scenes that look awesome, but couldn't really happen.
Piranha 3D is obviously a horror movie, and it uses 3D to try and enhance the scares. Which it does. The most cliche jump out scenes are used, but they still have that startling effect because instead of seeing the skeletal hand pop out of the water on the screen, it looks like it's two rows in front of you. The movie is a remake, and if you didn't know that, that's OK. If you are going to see this then you know it's a horror movie. Most horror movies are built upon scares, gore, and sometimes nudity. So go in with these expectations, and I bet you enjoy the movie. I don't usually get startled in horror movies, I haven't been scared when watching a horror movie in a long time. This movie made me jump a lot, even after I was like, I knew that was going to happen. That's the point of the movie though. It's supposed to be over the top. The people making this movie weren't making this to win any awards. They made this movie to entertain people. Expectations just need to be tempered.
Not every movie is going to be Avatar or Inception. To expect them to be is absurd. Movies are generally created to be entertaining. Some movies don't have a hidden agenda, and don't want to be artsy. Some just want to tell a story, and hope you enjoy the story. It comes down to, when you buy a ticket for a movie, you saw something that made you want to see it. Going in understanding what you are going to see will help you like the movies.
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